shielding our creativity from the tech gods

being chronically online killed my art practice- until I made the decision to leave

This piece is inspired by the collection release of work I have just added to my website— Seven new pieces available, known as — The Coming Up For Air Collection 🪽 Here’s more regarding the work and this specific collection:

over the last year, I was in a profound creation mode with my work. but its important we rewind a bit first. the year before this one, I found myself in quite the opposite position: for the first time in my life, I hated painting.

not really though. I had confused my hatred of being chronically online with painting. the two had become entwined, because in order to run an online business with social media— I had to become a videographer, producer, content creator. there was no space left for freedom, boredom, or expansion in my work. I knew to protect the one thing I needed more in this life than any other — my artistic process — I needed to step back a bit from chronic online sharing.

this little snippet from my journal two years ago says it best: “ the more time i spend online, the more i find myself feeling the opposite of flow. i find it difficult to share the things that used to fuel my connections here. i feel overstimulated, under-stimulated, and bored…. all at the same time. i feel depressed at the state of our world and annoyed that we have access to so much at every moment of every day. i feel energetically exhausted taking it all in, and i don’t know where to put all of it, or how to help. when i do place something out into the world, i feel imposter syndrome for taking up space. like i’m ashamed for finally reaching a life i feel proud to call mine. it’s a very strange place to be.”

it has taken an unnerving amount of work to break free from the exhaustion cycle mentioned above. the biggest part of that was my year away from sharing any work at all.

from the deepest place of my soul… I don’t want someone to discover my work because a reel or a tiktok went viral with me standing next to it.. i want someone to connect with my work because they read something that resonated with them, because a composition stopped them in their tracks, because they feel less alone in the human experience. i want it to be personal. art has always been created to keep the interrelatedness alive. I don’t want it to be trendy or use a hook to have to draw you in. I want the process to be natural. maybe I’m asking for too much.

back to this year—

13 months ago, I started painting towards the biggest deadline of my life— and I did it successfully. How did I paint more than I ever have before? I chose not to share any of the process or completed works with anyone, online, at all. I had no choice but to place a boundary in order to find my voice, put my head down, and work. Social media can sometimes make the creation process feel unsafe and invasive. I needed the break. I needed me back. I needed my life’s work to feel like mine again.

when you are able to less external intrusion… you stop longing for the validation or worry that comes with doing so. “this reel only hit 1,500 views— maybe that piece isn’t as good as I once thought” “how can I make this more catchy while not devaluing my work?” … all of these loud and bothersome voices begin to die off when they have nothing to feed on. I found myself alone in the studio again, without the demanding pressure from the online sphere. No tech company should ever be the most dominating life-force in the room when you are making art. If it is, we are in trouble.

As I painted last year, I didn’t share the work publicly on social media at all. I can’t help but think this level of production would have never been possible had I tried to incorporate it all at the same time. needless to say, I stand in my studio a year and some months later— surrounded by 33 large-scale completed works.

and no one has seen a single one of them.

creating in this way can be extremely healing. I found my flow for weeks at a time due to less distraction. I took risks I wouldn’t have otherwise. I experimented, painted over, started again. and at the end of the full 13 months, I found myself in an entirely different direction with the work than when I started all those months ago. something new has just, clicked. and I truly believe was able to occur because I removed all of the pressure from my work.

It’s a little scary to be back here again, uncertain of what the world will think of them. But this part of the process has never been about me— and I turn to you with excitement to share a selection of new works in this collection. releasing them is my final say in the matter… and what happens after this has always been about everyone else. there is so much freedom in that.

These seven new pieces were created solely in the month of January this year, after I had completed 28 new pieces over the course of 10 months. These works are the aftermath of that year of long devotion, the place with no intrusion— and the place I was able to come back to just me. The deadline was behind me, and I felt confident in stepping outside the lines again. I didn’t realize how badly I needed the space to do so.

Within these works, I found myself in play mode, coming up for air. There was no more deadline, no worry or anxiety— just experimentation and play. And I’m so proud of the result.

In my life now, i have many responsibilities in keeping this online business afloat. there are so many things to be done, and painted and filmed and edited and written and pinned and shared.

but in my absolute best moments, in the moments where i love myself most; i am just a girl, making things with her hands.

this collection, and all within the year before it, has brought me back to that.

I’d love for you to view the new work xo